I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
