dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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