I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.