And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
