I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize