I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
