i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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