i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
