im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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