I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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