all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
