that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
