Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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