What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
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SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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