Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
