did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
