So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
