for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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