My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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