Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you traded sex for a burrito?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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