I think I am morally bankrupt
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
