hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
