i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
