What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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