This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
