I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
