hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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