i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
