they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize