Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
