an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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