i think my tv is drunk
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
