You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize