my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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