Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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