I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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