so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
