the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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