I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
