I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
