It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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