Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
