I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
