There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
