Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
