I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize