You work out of a Hotel?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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