his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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