Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
