the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
