how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
