just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
