you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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