i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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