No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
