i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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