let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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