I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
