That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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