WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
